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What Is The Root Cause Of Trust Issues?

What Is The Root Cause Of Trust Issues?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines trust as a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” Trust is generally viewed as one of the foundational pillars of any authentic, healthy relationship. It can take years to develop trust in a relationship, and only moments for it to be destroyed. A tendency to distrust others can lead to a slew of unwanted consequences (e.g., exacerbate depression, loneliness, antisocial behaviors, etc.). Trust issues are largely characterized by fears of abandonment, betrayal, and manipulation. There are different frequently exhibited signs with which an individual struggling with trust issues may present, including the following examples, provided by Good Therapy:

  • Lack of intimacy or friendships
  • The mistrust that interferes with a relationship
  • Dramatic and turbulent relationships
  • Suspicion or anxiety about friends and family 
  • Terror during physical intimacy
  • The belief that others are deceptive or malevolent without evidence

Unresolved trust issues can cause problems in romantic relationships as well as non-romantic relationships and can interfere with one’s ability to cultivate and maintain future healthy relationships. 

Where Do Trust Issues Come From?

There is no single root cause that universally and accurately encompasses why chronic distrust, colloquially known as trust issues, develops. Rather, in most situations, the cause of trust issues is often due to a confluence of contributing factors. Trust issues can develop because of past or present experiences. Common causes of trust issues could be attributed to:

  • Childhood experiences: research has found that people who have endured a troubled childhood are more likely to develop trust issues later in life. For some individual’s the development of trust issues may be attributed to exposure to the following examples at a young age:
    • A parent making false promises to a child 
    • A friend failing to follow through on their words 
    • Caregivers with poor parenting skills
    • Abuse (e.g., emotional, physical, sexual, psychological, etc.)
    • Parental neglect
    • Parents with psychiatric conditions
    • Parental anger issues
  • Toxic relationships: unhealthy elements of relationships that could ignite trust issues may include:
    • Jealousy
    • Possessiveness 
    • Unreasonable rigidity 
    • Emotional infidelity 
    • Physical/ sexual infidelity
    • Relational game playing 
    • Lack of reliability and/ or dependability 
    • Lack of emotional support 
    • Lack of financial compatibility 
    • Lack of mutually supportive goals
  • Traumatic incidents: the effects of trauma can interfere with an individual’s ability to let their guard down and trust others. A traumatized individual (e.g., a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, extreme bullying, etc.) often feels unsafe in society and may begin to anticipate potential danger in all relationships, which can cause confusion regarding whom to trust and emitting vulnerability. 

Psychology Today explains that some individuals’ trust issues could partly be a matter of personality, as people that are naturally less agreeable tend to be more prone to distrusting others. However, it is important to note that people are not born with trust issues. Trust issues gradually develop as a cumulative impact of the various negative experiences one encounters in his or her life, beginning in childhood.  

Disclaimer: 

The information above is provided for the use of informational purposes only. The above content is not to be substituted for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment, as in no way is it intended as an attempt to practice medicine, give specific medical advice, including, without limitation, advice concerning the topic of mental health. As such, please do not use any material provided above to disregard professional advice or delay seeking treatment. 

How Do You Fix Trust Issues In Yourself?

How Do You Fix Trust Issues In Yourself?

Trust is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” It is the foundation of any healthy relationship, including oneself. There is no one more important to trust than yourself. Self-trust can boost your decision-making skills, improve your self-confidence, and even reduce stress levels. Psychology Today explains that “people who do not trust their own knowledge, beliefs, commitments, and emotions suffer from a lack of self-trust.” When a lack of self-trust extends to most areas of a person’s life, he or she may begin to view him or herself and become untrustworthy to him or herself. There are a variety of reasons and circumstances under which a person may lose trust in him or herself. Fortunately, self-trust issues can be fixed. 

How To Develop Self-Trust

There are several ways to cultivate and improve self-trust. To help mend your self-trust issues consider implementing the following suggestions: 

  • Be yourself: when you share your authentic self with others, they will treat you with more trust, which can in turn help build up your self-trust. 
  • Honor the promises you make to yourself: making a commitment to yourself and following through helps to build trust.
  • Avoid people who undermine your self-trust: surround yourself with people that support you and want to see you succeed.
  • Set attainable goals: although there are benefits to aiming high, it is helpful to your self-trust to start small. When we set unrealistic goals, we are often met with failure. Set smaller goals that enable you to succeed. Achieving smaller goals along the way can help you gain confidence and trust in yourself.  
  • Be kind to yourself: recognize that no one is perfect and be understanding towards yourself when you make a mistake.
  • Nurture your strengths: while trusting yourself means being able to try different things without being too self-critical or judgmental, when working on building trust in yourself it can be helpful to focus on doing things that you know you are good at. 
  • Be decisive: often when we lack trust in ourselves it can manifest as constantly questioning our decisions or actions. Breaking the habit of questioning your decisions by making and sticking with a choice can help build trust in yourself. 
  • Spend time with yourself: when we lack self-trust, we often develop a habit of looking away from ourselves as it can feel uncomfortable to spend time looking inward. Carving out time to focus on your inner thoughts and making a practice of patiently looking inward can help you get to know yourself better while simultaneously building up your self-trust. 

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix nor are there unanimous guidelines that are universally effective in building self-trust. Building and enhancing self-trust is a process that does not occur instantaneously, be patient with yourself and know that in time and with a little effort, it can be mended.  

Disclaimer: 

The information above is provided for the use of informational purposes only. The above content is not to be substituted for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment, as in no way is it intended as an attempt to practice medicine, give specific medical advice, including, without limitation, advice concerning the topic of mental health. As such, please do not use any material provided above to disregard professional advice or delay seeking treatment. 

How Do I Fix My Trust Issues?

How Do I Fix My Trust Issues?

Trust, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary is a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” Trust issues are characterized by fears of abandonment, betrayal, and manipulation. It is impossible to move through life without encountering trust issues at some point. The severity and how those issues affect and shape each person may be different but facing trust issues is simply a part of life. Fortunately, there is a plethora of resources and helpful suggestions that an individual can take advantage of to shift painful trust issues into building blocks for cultivating healthy relationships. 

Common Signs

The first step to mending trust issues that may be interfering with one’s relationships is to recognize common signs. While trust issues have the propensity to manifest in different ways, frequently exhibited signs that may present could include but are not limited to the following examples, provided by Good Therapy:

  • Lack of intimacy or friendships
  • The mistrust that interferes with a relationship
  • Dramatic and turbulent relationships
  • Suspicion or anxiety about friends and family 
  • Terror during physical intimacy
  • The belief that others are deceptive or malevolent without evidence

The signs of trust issues may include any combination of the above examples. Unresolved trust issues can cause problems in romantic relationships as well as non-romantic relationships. 

Tips

There are several ways to overcome trust issues. To help get you on the path of resolution, consider implementing the following suggestions: 

  • Face your fears: the best way to diffuse the power of your fears that feed your trust issues is to name them, acknowledge them, and move on. 
  • Take emotional risks: to provide yourself with opportunities to heal you must dive in headfirst and embrace being emotionally vulnerable.
  • Everyone is human: it is advantageous to realize that no one is perfect, and that re-learning trust is a process that will likely involve some level of discomfort as well as additional experiences of broken trust. 
  • Seek closure from the past: as difficult as it may be, rather than allowing past experiences to negatively define or limit your future, try to learn from your past by seeing beyond the dysfunction, and extracting applicable lessons that can be used to develop healthier relationships in the future. 
  • Time is healing: for some people, it may only be a matter of time before your sense of trust feels restored.

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix nor are there universal guidelines that are unanimously effective when working through betrayals, breached confidences, abandonment, or other trust issues. It is important to bear in mind that everyone is unique, and each person will process, integrate, and work through trust issues in their own way and in their own time.

Disclaimer: 

The information above is provided for the use of informational purposes only. The above content is not to be substituted for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment, as in no way is it intended as an attempt to practice medicine, give specific medical advice, including, without limitation, advice concerning the topic of mental health. As such, please do not use any material provided above to disregard professional advice or delay seeking treatment.