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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) as a chronic mental health disorder. It is a serious psychological condition that is characterized by pervasive instability in moods, emotions, behaviors, and interpersonal relationships which interfere with one’s ability to function in everyday life. BPD directly affects how one feels about him or herself, one’s behaviors as well as how an individual can relate to others. As is explained by the Mayo Clinic individuals with borderline personality disorder have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and are often unable to tolerate being alone. Even with the strong desire to have loving, and lasting relationships, the symptoms of BPD (e.g., inappropriate anger, impulsiveness, frequent mood swings, etc.) often push others away. Making the decision to end a relationship with a partner diagnosed with borderline personality disorder can be difficult. To help you end your relationship amicably and leave with integrity consider the following suggestions, provided by Psychology Today:

  • Speak clearly, gently, and with compassion: When communicating it is important to be direct and use short sentences, in a calm and non-threatening voice.
    • Remain calm and respectful: It is common for individuals with BPD to lash out when feeling attacked, frustrated, or rejected. Avoid reacting impulsively and do not be sarcastic, snarky, or demeaning.
  • Avoid blame: The constructive conversations that often occur between two healthy people exploring why their relationship did not work, is unlikely to happen when one of the partners has borderline personality disorder. In attempt to understand why the relationship failed, an individual with BPD is likely to ask what they did wrong. However, rather than accepting their partner’s feedback at face value, they instead hear these explanations as attacks on their character and become defensive or even hostile.
  • Be a source of validation: Whenever possible, acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if you do not fully agree with their beliefs.
  • Set and enforce boundaries as necessary: When you break up with someone diagnosed with BPD, they are likely to lash out at you. You have made the choice to end the relationship and to uphold this decision you must set and maintain clear boundaries by stating what you will and will not accept.

The end of any relationship can trigger a range of emotions and in partners with BPD terminating a relationship can cause particularly charged and heightened emotional reactions. Nevertheless, if there comes a point where you feel it best to end a relationship, although their BPD may be helpful in considering the most effective way to deliver this message to your partner, it is generally best to avoid delay.

Treatment In Calabasas

Calabasas is a city in California. It is a well-known suburb of Los Angeles, located west of the San Fernando Valley and north of the Santa Monica Mountains. Over the past decade, the city of Calabasas has grown in its reputation for luxury as well as for privacy which makes it a hidden gem for residential living for society’s elite, and one of the most desirable destinations in Los Angeles County. It is also home to a plethora of highly qualified mental health clinicians providing an array of therapeutic services and treatment options.

The information above is provided for the use of informational purposes only. The above content is not to be substituted for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment, as in no way is it intended as an attempt to practice medicine, give specific medical advice, including, without limitation, advice concerning the topic of mental health. As such, please do not use any material provided above to disregard professional advice or delay seeking treatment.

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